Corrine (cadi_ray) wrote,

Annoyed with relationships

I'm withdrawing from most relationships ("friendships" and "therapists" included) and have decided it is the right thing to do.  I feel like most people are selfish and decide to judge me based off of shallow reasons (it doesn't matter if I look amazing that day or like crap, this annoys me).  I have decided to go celibate for as long as humanly possible.  I'm ignoring most of my friends, even the ones who are not guilty of anything.  I suspect it is depression, but I don't care.  I tried to reach out, I tried to have relationships, but the risk isn't worth the cost anymore. Of course I'll keep trying, but it feels like insanity rather than something worthwhile.  How sad it is that we all mistreat each other so badly we can no longer tolerate being around each other.  That is how most  passionate "love" stories really end, two fools who wish they had never met.  There might not seem to be anything there between two compassionate people, but it lasts longer and is healthier.  I don't mind interacting with others, but when it is so draining to begin with to keep having negative intimate experiences is making me lose hope.  Not to say I wasn't at fault too, as surely they say they are innocent and tell you what a monster I was.  So tired of it all. 

Tags: "love", bitter, breakup, celibate, depression, romance
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