Corrine (cadi_ray) wrote,


Schizoaffective disorder is a disabling disease, so I rely on medicaid. I am not patient enough to read through the 200 page bill, so I can't tell you that it affects me specifically, but it might and what that means is life changing. My disorder varies in how disabling it is. Sometimes I can handle forty hours a week, other times I can't get out of bed and managing a six hour a week volunteer job becomes a challenge. There is no typical case for medicaid, so don't use me as a guide for how you think medicaid patients are or should be. I use medicaid for my prescriptions. Medicaid gets a discount, I do not. I paid for Seroquel at one point out of pocket and one month's supply of generic is $200. I take six medications, I need two of them to live the rest are for unbearable side affects like akathisia. Akathisia is this uncomfortable feeling where I can't sit still, but walking around doesn't feel very good either, so I sit down and I hate that, so I lie down and I hate that, so I get up... People sometimes think psych meds aren't necessary, but for me they are. I suffer from something called psychotic suicide, where I do risky things like jumping in front for buses, because I want to teleport. I know it sounds crazy, but without meds this is where my mind wanders off to. Medicaid covers my doctor and therapist. I need both to stay in reality. There are also groups like cognitive enhancement therapy, which helps with negative symptoms and some positive symptoms too. All this help puts me back in the community and allows me to live a more independent life. Since getting on medicaid compared to just being on insurance my mental health recovery progress is much improved. It is getting to the point where I can work a part time job again with less interruption from symptoms. I was working a part time job before, but my symptoms were still severe and I wasn't getting enough help by seeing my doctor once every two months at $140 an hour. Back then I was under medicated, only I didn't know it. I was hallucinating, only I thought they were my thoughts. My depression took up hours of my day sometimes. Now one might argue that I could work and get health insurance, but I can't always work. When I have episodes employers don't like holding my job for weeks while I am in the hospital, then accommodating me when I get back. It puts pressure on me to preform above standard and I already have that pressure as a female. Sometimes I get back to work from an episodes, I had been decompensating before the episode, so I have to explain why my performance and attendance is suddenly lacking and then make up for lost time. If you know of any employer willing to accept that when they can hire someone younger and healthier, just let me know. I can tell you blogging is not my career, nor am I skilled at stock trading. I have rambled a bit, but I depend on medicaid. I know if it was taken away it would be a struggle to get insured, I might be able to keep a job short term, but ultimately something would stress me out and I would likely die from not having insurance without medicaid to fall back on. I am a blogger and arm chair activist, but for once this is my life they are talking about. I might have to protest. I don't really see the point in protesting, senators know your opinion when you call. It just seems like a way to get arrested. I never wanted to rely on government programs like this, but I would need to be a millionaire to cover my health care costs otherwise. Not to say medicaid or taxpayers pay that much, because when the government pays they see the costs get cut as much as possible. I never thought I would need medicaid and did everything to avoid it, but when you are sick and poor it happens. I hope Trumpcare never happens. Nothing like begging politicians not to kill you, because basically many of us cannot live without medicaid. Some might argue my case is debatable, but in reality I need it to live through rough patches. So that is my rant on medicaid, thanks for reading!
Tags: medicaid, trumpcare
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