Corrine (cadi_ray) wrote,

Now that I know no one is paying attention I wanted to say one thing. First of all I assume people don't take my opinion seriously when it comes to medical advice, but in case they ever did I have something to say. When I was in the bipolar support group or question club I encouraged people to explore alternative medicine. If you do and it works for you that is great. But I was medicated when I said that.

When I first was brought to the hospital in 2008 I failed the reality test. I didn't know my name, who the president was or what the date was. I need medications to live or I could commit psychotic suicide. I can't try out any of my crazy theories about alternative treatments for mental illness. They do help in conjunction with medication.

Now the psychosis is so significant I can't take anything for my depression. I was on a massive doses of Seroquel, which is supposed to help, but it didn't. I have tried massive doses of flax oil (the taste of this, yuck!). Reading a cognitive behavioral therapy workbook (this helped). Exercise. Contentment meditations. Calling a crisis center (life saving). Oh and making new friends. But after experiencing all this a pill seems easier if I had that option.

I am still for preventative health and trying stress management. However, doctors study mental health for eight years, sometimes longer plus all their experience in the field so I tend to trust their opinion over the others. Now if a holistic health practictioner with equal experience tells me what to do I am inclined to at least listen. But many times there is someone in our lives who knows nothing about mental illness who says, oh have you tried exercise. Well gee I hadn't thought of what everyone says is good for almost every health condition except maybe a broken appendage. Meditation seems to be a huge trend now too. I see major magazines trying to sell people mindfulness. I remember a day I was hearing voices and I meditated. The voices stopped mid meditation. Of course they returned. This illness isn't how they show in movies. Everyone's experience is different.

For me it is like when you watch a scary movie as a kid. You think the monster is outside, so you wake up ten times a night checking for monsters. Nobody can tell you there is no monster. You never see a monster, but you are afraid of it. The voices are like a tape recorder playing back only it is almost so much like thinking or someone else talking I am thrown off by it and can't always tell I'm hallucinating, sometimes they are trying to convince me the monster exists, other times they talk about me. Right now and most of the time they are silent. When it gets really bad I might start believing I am the monster or people I know are the monster. They don't look like the monster, but maybe the monster learned how to disguise himself. So you see it isn't a second personality, it is a fear based disorder. Though it can look like another personality, because a calm person can suddenly change into a frightened mess.

So you can understand why I would never try to treat myself with alternative medication, I would die. I don't recommend it for anyone else, because at some point I was on a low dose of lamictal and told I have mild bipolar. I have tried self medication (read drinking to cope) I completely understand rebelling to find your own way, but understand there are risks involved. Medications have risks too, I have been over medicated or accidentally taken too much. It is wise to weigh your options carefully and decide for yourself. I know I am just another person with an opinion on the internet, so I hope you take my opinion as such. This entry is for entertainment purposes only and does not serve as official medical advice. Thanks for reading!

Well I hope you enjoyed this Harriet, because I don't think anyone else is paying attention. I don't really think you need this advice and you could probably teach me.
Tags: alternative treatments, medication
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