I haven't been here or at the Laughing Goat in a while. I don't really recite poetry often at the Laughing Goat, so I don't know why I mentioned it. I have made some progress in meditation, I made it up another level and meditated several times last week. It isn't one of those things you write much about to the internet or tell much of anyone. Oh look at me, I MEDITATE I AM SO PEACEFUL, but seriously I am happy to progress along the path. The whole experience has been humbling and life-changing to some degree. I don't feel as though I've changed, but people I barely know remarked I have changed. At least nothing major has changed for the worse lately. When I was young it seemed like every year or so something nasty would happen for the worst, drastic loss all of a sudden and I had no way to handle it like I do now. I was so afraid of losing this blog, the day my email got hacked was the day I was sure it was gone. What does it matter, I haven't used it in a month and I mostly use it to rant about the worst things in my life or about how much I am afraid of losing it to three people reading it. I am still attached to it though. That is why someone wants it, to take something precious to me. I don't think anyone is debating whether I write this blog, because I don't think they are reading it. It is too obscure, too plain, not promoted, untrained, and I just plain have no self-confidence if it is any good. I think you all are too busy worrying about your own lives and if you made time to read this, thank you.