Corrine (cadi_ray) wrote,

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oppression of mentally ill

I read the other day about the oppression of the mentally ill from a book written in the 1990s. I was thinking about whether or not I am oppressed. It said they spend most of their lives in the mental health center. Well I do that, but mostly by choice. It said most of their life decisions are made by therapists. It does feel like my therapist is telling me who I shouldn't be dating, but that is only because I don't take the time to get to know people and I date guys who don't treat me well (maybe I don't treat them well either, but that is a different issue). I was thinking of where else I go and if I feel accepted there. I am not sure if I felt accepted at college or at the spiritual center, but one can never know if it is an illness or a personality issue. I feel accepted by other writers, which is a blessing. So what is this oppression, am I being oppressed and if so by who and why? It doesn't seem like I can make very much money. I am applying for social security, now nobody told me I had to apply for social security, but I don't feel 100%. When you apply for social security they have income limits. It also limits where I can live, what I can own and what I can do. I had to sell my house and move. I was recently connecting with someone I used to work with, when he found out I no longer own my house he immediately didn't want to see me again. I've lost my status as a lower middle class person, now I am a disabled person. I could have kept it with a mental illness, it doesn't take it away, but I am very vulnerable one medication change and all of a sudden I am more or less able than I was a month ago. I could be fine on meds and a stressful event could trigger me and all of a sudden my life is different. The oppression seems to come from my health status more than anything else. When it is good I have nothing to worry about, mental health label or not. But when it is failing I go back to being a mentally ill person who is at the mercy of the mental health care system. I have to be patient, rely on their housing, their doctors, and their advice. Oh I remember now, there was this doctor who gave me a ten minute quiz and determined I had a personality disorder because I lied on the quiz and it took getting a 16 hour psych evaluation to get the diagnosis off my chart. I felt pretty oppressed then. Sometimes you can't reason with therapists or doctors they want to help you the way they want to help you and if you don't comply they see you as not caring about your recovery. Which is fine if you are truly being unreasonable, like if I needed to take medication for my disease and I wasn't taking it or I needed a certain therapy and I refused to take the classes. I also feel like I shouldn't have kids, which is very oppressive, because most everyone my age has kids. I don't think they let people with schizoaffective disorder adopt kids. I remember reading an article years ago where surgeons refused to give schizophrenics organ donations. I get annoyed with this, because I give blood and I'm a possible future organ donor. I noticed my peers seem more oppressed and poor, but I can't go into detail. I don't know how oppressed I really feel, it seems like people are helping me and I don't want to take that for granted. I think the most oppressed I feel is when they run out of cannolis at the cafe at the mental health center, I mean come on I really wanted one and they are so expensive everywhere else!
Tags: mental health, oppression
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