Corrine (cadi_ray) wrote,
Corrine
cadi_ray

  • Mood:
Everyone thinks meditation is sitting on a cushion and feeling really relaxed, but it isn't just that. Intense emotions come up. It's kinda like writing livejournal entries, your whole head comes out to haunt you. My worst fears come up, old memories I have been pushing away. The realization that I fear abandonment has come up. I was in level 5 the other day and I was thinking about something that happened to me and I realized that is exactly what betrayal feels like. Only I'm supposed to let go of the label and just feel. So I just felt this intense emotion, let it completely envelop me and let it go. In earlier meditation the response to all thoughts is a gentle "thinking" and focusing on the breath. I'm beginning to realize I haven't let myself just feel most of my life, I always had to distract myself with something. For me meditation is no longer having the end goal of being enlightened or awake, very few people end up enlightened or awake, they are rare and wonderful blessings on this world, I simply meditate to really feel.
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