Corrine (cadi_ray) wrote,

Work and disability

Working was a great escape when I was in an unhealthy relationship. I worked 80 hours some weeks. I didn’t love my job, but I liked my coworkers. I have always liked working and have wanted to work as much as possible. When I first got psychosis I just kept working as if nothing had happened. I applied for disability, because mom told me to, got denied and decided it didn’t matter. I went to school and worked like it didn’t matter. Struggled, but thought I had to prove people with bipolar 1 can work (I technically have schizoaffective now, but it was bipolar back then). But once I was severely late for months on end and my friendly boss had a serious talk with me the option of disability came back. If it were any other job I would have been fired. I was severely depressed too and I really thought that if the ideal working conditions weren’t enough for me, maybe it was time to apply for social security. But they don’t just give anybody social security. They saw that I worked and graduated from college. They looked at my age. They read my clinical record. Instead of agreeing with my doctors, they discredited their opinion. I felt angry and hopeless once I got through with my first hearing. A second hearing is coming up and my lawyer says the judge will likely stick with his original decision. He didn’t say, “unless we do...” I have to keep going, but I feel like I will be in poverty for life, because the most I can work is part time (if that) and social security will perpetually say “no” to me. Don’t feel too bad yet, I have money in savings. I just felt like complaining about this again. I’ll be fine...other than being sick and broke. It could always get worse, after all they are gutting Medicaid. Thanks for reading!
Tags: bad attitude, complaining, hopeless, pissed off, social security, working
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